FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

If I go to a meeting, will I have to talk?
No one is required to talk at any meeting. We understand how difficult that can be when our grief is so fresh. We do ask that you listen, however.

My child was an adult and didn't live at home. Can I still go to a meeting?
Chapter meetings are open to all families who have experienced the death of a child, at any age, from any cause. Regardless of age, we in TCF believe our children will always be thought of as just that.....our children.

Is there a charge to attend?
There is never a charge to attend a TCF meeting. Our chapters rely on voluntary donations from members, friends and the community at large.

What happens at a meeting?
Meetings all start with everyone seated in a circle, where we go around and introduce ourselves and the children we've lost.  If it is the month you lost your child, you are invited to bring one or two photos of them to share with the group and spend 2 or 3 minutes telling us a little about them.  We love learning about the children, and we love getting to know them. This opportunity is called a "Remembrance."  It is strictly voluntary.

We then take a short break for some refreshments.

After the break, the newer people go upstairs for their own special meeting, led by George ad Barbara Beall.  It is usually a smaller group, and there is no specific topic.  Newcomers are free to talk about whatever is on their mind or in their heart.  It is a more unstructured, free-flowing sharing time, and it is a very safe place to express fresh grief.  We've all been there, and the Bealls are wonderful.

The more "seasoned grievers" stay downstairs and have a more structured, but free flowing discussion, on a different topic each month.

At the end of the evening, we regroup downstairs to briefly share our "good-nights" to our children and each other.

Can I bring a friend with me?
Of course, you can bring a friend, but we ask that they, as well as all members, respect each other's privacy. It is important for us to be able to share freely within our group and be sure confidences will be respected.

My husband says he won't come with me. Can I come alone?
Yes. We all grieve differently and he may not be ready to take part just yet...or ever. And, likewise, many husbands attend meetings without their wives.

My child died from AIDS. Will I still be welcome?
Yes. All families who have experienced the death of a child at any age, from any cause, are welcome.

Religion doesn't matter to me anymore. Can people at a meeting accept that?
Generally you will find TCF members are very tolerant of any views. After the death of a child, many priorities, as well as values, change.

I notice the meeting is in a church. Do I have to belong to a church to attend?
TCF has no religious affiliation at all. Chapters meetings are held in a wide variety of locations depending upon what is available in our communities.

I have baby-sitting problems. Would it be all right to bring my five year old with me?
Children attending with you need to be 18 or older.  We are not able to offer child care at meetings.

Do I need a reservation before I come to a meeting?
No reservations are needed. Just come whenever you feel up to it.

My child died seven years ago, and I postponed my grief work. Now it's catching up with me. Is it too late to come now?
We all grieve differently. Many parents don't feel the need of a support group until years after the death of a child. It's all right to come whenever you are ready, whether it's soon after your child's death, months later or years later..